Today I am 40

Monday, September 26, 2016 4:30 AM

Today I am 40 years old! HOLY CRAP!! 
40!!!
When the heck did this happen?  
I am the baby of my family and on the younger side for most of my friends and old classmates, so when everyone else was turning 40 and on social media and they were posting how wonderful it felt to be forty and they were aging like a fine wine, I am not going to lie I would give a dramatic side eye roll. Isn't that what you are supposed to say?  Sure we have to be ok with getting older because it beats the alternative, but are we really ok with it? Over the past few weeks I have been examining this question. 

Here are a few things I asked myself:

Q. Do I  wish I was my younger self?
A. Well sure, I often find myself reminiscing about my early 20s when I was carefree and the world was my oyster.  The days when I defied gravity, had zero wrinkles and way less stress. 

Q. Do I feel old?
A. No, I thought one day I would have some sort of epiphany where I felt like an adult. Aaaaaand... still waiting! 

Q. Is it shear vanity. 
A. Yes! I know that is not the answer people want to read, but it is completely honest. I know we are supposed to say 'every wrinkle is a memory, or experience. I've  laughed... I've lived'.  Sure, this is all true.  None of us can beat the aging process, but it still bums me out a bit. 


What I have learned in 40 years...

 1. I do not know everything. 
 I look at my son, nieces and nephews and even at such a young age they think they know everything. When I was in my twenties I thought I had it all figured out and scoffed at those who thought differently. I was educated, opinionated, thought I was worldly.  That is a recipe for ignorance and arrogance.  In the past few years, I have tried to keep myself in check. Keep an open mind, take things away from every experience and relationship. You can learn something from everything.

2. I can make mistakes and that is ok!
Mistakes... I've made a few, but then again too few to mention.
Nothing great ever came from playing it safe.  As a parent and aunt, I now understand warning your children not to do certain things and be wary of people and circumstances, but just as I didn't listen or heed warning to everything, I can see how what I am saying is going in one ear and directly out the other. Do not get me wrong, teaching your children what is right and wrong and sharing your experiences are great, but chances are they will not learn from your mistakes, and we should not expect them to.  For example, you can warn someone not to touch a hot stove, but they will never experience your burn.  They will learn from their own burn.  We learn from our own mistakes, our own heartbreaks.  

3. Others opinions of me, are none of my business.
Don't get caught up on what others think of you. Be you. Don't compare, don't compete, just be yourself.  The people that count will love you anyway. 

4. The best accessory is confidence. 
This is something I learned early on. I remember it vividly. I was 13, sitting in Brooke Holgerson's kitchen and her mom explained to us that we are only as fabulous as we believe we are.  This piece of advice was a game changer for me. To put it simply, believe in yourself. 

5. Stress does not change the outcome.
You can not change the outcome of any situation by stressing over it. To quote my dad '9.99999% of the things we stress about never come to fruition'.  

6. You will be grateful that some things didn't work out the way you once wanted them to.
Even as depressing or heartbreaking it may be, you will be better off and happier in the long run, I promise.  

7. Happiness is a choice, and there is always something to be grateful for.
 

 ... just a few things to remind ourselves.




















  What I wore:
Top (splurge / save) / Jacket similar  / Pants / Heels / Sunnies
  
 Current ear worm

 



 


 

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89 comments

  1. oh my goodness you don't look a day over 30! happy 40th! you look gorgeous, I love that cropped pink jacket! :)

    Metallic Paws

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  2. Happy Birthday, my gorgeous friend!! I'm not too far behind you, so your wisdom and life lessons were a joy to read. I hope you have the best time celebrating! Wishing you a wonderful year ahead! XO

    Shauna

    www.lipglossandlace.net

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Shauna! It was such a great day.

      xx

      Delete
  3. 40?! I bet women half your age could only dream of looking half as good as you! You look so amazing, gorgeous!

    Abby of Life in the Fash Lane

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  4. Wonderful post, and happiest birthday to you - so many great days are ahead. Thanks for linking with Vis Monday xox

    -Patti
    http://notdeadyetstyle.com

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  5. first off HAPPY BIRTHDAY second 40? but howwwww? damn good genes girl wow!

    Life is just Rosie
    Instagram

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  6. You are one FABULOUS looking 40-year-old!! Umm, you're gorgeous!! Happy Birthday and enjoy celebrating every minute of it!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Gentry! You are so sweet!

      xx

      Delete
  7. You look amazing!

    Eliana,
    https://around-eliana.blogspot.pt

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  8. Welcome to 40!!!! It's awesome! Happy Birthday!
    Jaymie

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  9. Holy cow! You don't look 40 at all. Looking fabulous as usual! Love the look too!!!

    Lydia | chicandmodish.com

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    Replies
    1. You are so sweet Lydia! Thank you so much!

      xx

      Delete
  10. Happy birthday!! Hope you have a great day celebrating :)

    -Emily
    https://baublesandthreads.wordpress.com

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  11. u look smoking hot in all the blush pink!! many congratulations on your birthday! i totally agree with u, stress does not change anything!
    http://www.thestyletune.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Chichi, you are so sweet!

      xx

      Delete
  12. Happy birthday to you! Thanks for sharing your life lessons with us :)

    THat pastel pink jacket is beautiful on you.


    Hope you're having a wonderful start to the week :)

    Away From The Blue Blog

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  13. Loved reading this! Happy Birthday!

    Mary
    www.marymurnane.com

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  14. Happy Happy Birthday! It's a big one, I unfortunately have already been there. Ha!
    Love your style.

    Missy
    missymackenzie.com

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  15. Wow congrats on this milestone - you look great!!!

    I’m pretty excited with this outfit I am wearing from my favorite Los Angeles brand TOBI – come on over at the blog & find out why! #shopTobi

    Happy Tuesday!

    Rebecca
    http://www.redtagchiclosangeles.com

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  16. Happy birthday, lady! You are doing 40 RIGHT, that's for sure! Wishing you a wonderful day!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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  17. Happy birthday!! You look amazing in this outfit and I love what you shared. You are rocking 40!

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

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  18. Happy birthday gorgeous! There is no way you're 40, I honestly thought that you were in your early 30s! You look amazing and your words are so spot on my dear, take it from someone who is halfway through her 40s, LOL! I hope your day is as beautiful as you are! XoXo

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  19. Oh, Andrea you are so sweet! Thank you for you kind words!!

    xx,

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  20. I hope I'll look as good as you when I get 40! You look so stunning, you're putting the rest of us to shame!

    Happy birthday gorgeous!

    XoXo,

    Tamara - LoveofMode.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh man, you are so sweet!! Thank you so much!

      xx

      Delete
  21. Oh Sweet Elise HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Happy 40th gorgeous mamma! I would never guess you were 40. I thought you were 35-36 at the latest. Looking great. I loved reading this and all your awesome advise, especially the first three - I totally agree with.

    Also this outfit is polished, posh, elegant and sexy. Blush is marvelous on you. I love the pumps and moto jacket.

    Enjoy this very special birthday week! <3 Ada.

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    Replies
    1. Oh thank you so much Ada! this whole month has been packed with celebrations and I still have more!

      xx

      Delete
  22. You look fab for 40! I'm in my 30's and honestly wouldn't go back to my 20s. I love actually my "older" years!

    http://www.mylittlenest.org

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Ruth! I actually do to! I like that I am wiser and more confident.

      xx

      Delete
  23. Happy Birthday to you! You look absolutely amazing at 40! Love your fabulous outfit too!

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  24. Super cool blogpost :) I hope you had an amazing birthday!

    What about following each other? :)

    Caro x

    http://nilooorac.com/

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Caro! It has been a fantastic birthday month.

      xx

      Delete
  25. Aw happy birthday!! Girl you definitely dont look 40!! You look so fabulous and I am obsessed with this outfit!

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeat Soles

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  26. Girl, you look amazing!!! Happy belated birthday <3


    Blessings,
    Edye | Http://gracefulcoffee.wordpress.com

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  27. love your cute and positive outlook on life! super chic outfit!


    kelseybang.com

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  28. So I read the title of this and instantly thought, "no way!" Elise you look GREAT. I seriously was thinking upper 20s. Also yes yes yes to 4 and 7. All the way!
    Emily
    http://darlingdearestblog@gmail.com

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    Replies
    1. Aaaaand you are my new best friend!! Seriously, thank you for your kind words Emily!

      xx

      Delete
  29. Estas increíble bonita. Me flipa como combinas. Un besazo y te invito a pasar por mi blog.
    Las siete maravillas de Amanda.

    ReplyDelete
  30. What!? You look so young! Happy birthday fabulous lady! I really enjoyed reading these words of wisdom. I needed to hear some of that today, especially the confidence and stress tips. LOVE these pants, by the way! ;)
    --Roxanne
    Glass of Glam

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Roxanne, you are so sweet! And yes, the pants totally worked out. Love them!

      xx

      Delete
  31. Happy Birthday! You look absolutely beautiful and I agree with all you points. Turning 40 for me was not a big deal. I honestly do not think 40 is old...it's young! And I looked great in my 40's. It was when I turned 50 that everything went south. I actually cried on my 50th birthday. It was so sad. This year I really started to notice the aging process on my face and neck, and I have so many aches and pains. I thought I could beat it with exercise, but I still have aches and pains. It's so sad. But like you said "Consider the alternative"

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Amy!! You are wonderful and so beautiful! I think we just overly critique ourselves.

      xx

      Delete
  32. Happy Birthday! You make 40 look AMAZING! I love these thoughts, and love your jacket!
    Rachael
    www.threadsforthomasblog.com

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  33. Happy 40th birthday to you, Elise! You look amazing. Love everything about this look, especially the blush moto jacket.

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  34. Happy Fabulous Birthday!!
    Of course we have vanity and don't always love the changes that come with aging, but I'm not always sure we appreciated what we had when we were younger. At least myself, I always wanted to be more of this or less of that instead of loving what I had!
    So I think the aging process has certainly taught me that aspect---I might as well love what I have now, because it's going to change!!
    And have fun, right? We are blessed to have every day!!
    You look fabulous!!
    Besides now you can be in the 40+ group---welcome!!
    jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

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    Replies
    1. You are so right Jodie! I always think about how I didn't appreciate what I had 20, 10, 5 years ago. I try and appreciate all of it now. Thank you so much for your kind words.

      Delete
  35. Happy Birthday and what a nice list of ideas and wise words.
    Rachel xo
    www.garaytreasures.com

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  36. Happy 40! I hope you had a wonderful birthday. You look so gorgeous, and I loved everything you had to say about what you've learned in your 40 years. Especially that there's always something to be grateful for--so true and something I need to always remember.
    Shea | www.shealennon.com

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  37. You make 40 look pretty darn awesome. Happy Birthday!

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  38. I am a few days late but happy 40th! Can I just say you look fab turning 40, love your whole look.
    Nora
    www.jacketsociety.com

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  39. Welcome to the best decade of your life, Elise :) you look spectacular!!!

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  40. you look amazing!!!
    kisses from the sandpits of dubai ❤️
    www.mahryska.com

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  41. Happy Belated! You own your style so effortlessly and your heels need to be in my wardrobe like ASAP!

    - Camille

    www.styleyourlifexo.com

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  42. Happy birthday! I love your outfit--a pink blazer is definitely a closet staple. I hope you had a great day!

    By the way, I’m hosting a blogger linkup on my blog today. I’d love for you to come share a post!

    Style by Joules

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  43. Happy birthday from a fellow Libran. Your life's lessons are great and you look fabulous. Thank you for adding your post to my Fine.Whatever link up.

    Rena
    www.finewhateverblog.com

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  44. Happy Birthday Gorgeous! Your life lessons are so wise - especially #3 & #4. Love your blush look - so pretty!

    Jill
    Doused In Pink

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  45. Happy 4oth Bday! I remember that day..I went out to breakfast with mom and dad, hubby and kept wanting affirmation that i didnt "Look 40" silly I know! Now, I am with you more confidence and I try not to stress out "the small stuff". You look fantastic in this outfit. I love the blush jacket and the heels. Celebrate!
    Thanks for linking up with Turning Heads Tuesday
    jess xx
    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
    REPLY

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  46. Happy Birthday! You look very young! Love the jacket

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  47. Happy belated Birthday! I have to say, I had no Idea that you were 40! You look amazing! I hope you are enjoying it!
    ~Jessica
    Jeans and a Teacup

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  48. Hope you had the happiest birthday!

    http://www.michellespaige.com

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